Are you a hypochondriac, or someone who likes to call in
sick a couple of times a month? Worried
that your excuses are getting stale?
Have you used nearly every ailment or injury listed in your battered
Physician’s Desk Reference?
Don’t worry about a thing!
I’m here to help. Listed here,
free of charge, is a list of sicknesses or conditions guaranteed to be new to
your beleaguered bosses and co-workers!
1)
Cranial Cooties
2)
Prolapsed Nostril
3)
Dislocated Eyebrow
4)
Sema (when your ejaculate begins to taste like a defunct malt
beverage)
5)
Coca-Colitis
6)
Wandering Pancreas
7)
Ring-Around-The-Collarbone
8)
Chicken Breasts (you’ve suddenly started growing feathers on
your torso)
9)
Sprained Nipple
10)
X-Meningitis
11)
Floppy Lung
12)
Shakespearean Incontinence (To pee or not to pee, that is the
question)
13)
Rubber Ankles
14)
Inverted Spleen
15)
Liver Slivers
16)
If-I-Had-A-Hammertoe (Like a regular hammertoe, but condition
can only be alleviated by folk music)
Enjoy! Print off
this page as a handy-dandy checklist, and Happy Sick Day!
