There is a problem with health care in this country. Is it too expensive? Yes, it is, but
that’s not what I’m complaining about.
Are there too few people that have it?
Yes, that’s true too, but that’s not what I’m talking about either. The problem is, the health care system in
this country is saving the lives of too many stupid people.
This didn’t used to be a problem! Once upon a time, when a stupid person did something stupid and
got hurt, as they are want to do, they died.
Thin the herd a little bit! Now,
it’s technology like crazy, and stupid people’s lives get saved, so they can go
on doing stupid things. And you know,
Stupid Guy is going to meet Stupid Girl, and one of them will say, “I’ve got a
great idea! Let’s get married!” Great!
As dangerous as one stupid person is, now we’ve got another moron
telling ‘em, “You know you’ll blow your fingers off if you hold that
firecracker when you light it. Hold in
your teeth”. It’s not stupid plus
stupid, it’s stupid times stupid. Now, we have stupid to the second power.
We know they’re going to have kids, don’t we? Now we’ve got stupid times stupid times
stupid, stupid cubed. We all know
that smart people can have stupid kids.
My parents made me add that last line.
But, stupid people almost always have stupid kids. We could end up outnumbered!
It’s our own fault, too.
When our ten year-old acts like a ten year-old, we say, “Why don’t you
grow up?” When Adam Sandler acts like a
ten year-old, we give him twenty million dollars a picture and his own production
company.
Fortunately, there are a few signs that you’re dealing with
a stupid person. You ask the average
guy something he doesn’t know, he’ll scratch his head like he’s trying to
stimulate his brain and say, “Gee, I don’t know.” Stupid guy says the same thing, but scratches his belly. What,
are your brains in your appendix? And good luck to you if you’re talking to the
guy who scratches his ass while answering.
Stupid guy is the one in front of you at the register at the
dollar store asking the clerk, “How much is this?”
Stupid guy is wearing the “I’m with stupid” T-shirt…inside
out.
Stupid guy watches sports on TV, like we all do. But when the instant replay comes on, he
figures, “Well, maybe he’ll do better this time”.
It’s popular these days to blame our problems on popular
music. And I’m going to do the same
thing. Have you heard “Jesus Take the
Wheel”? Carrie Underwood sings about a girl whose car goes into a spin and she
throws her hands up and says, “Jesus Take The Wheel.” You just know somebody stupid is going to try it! You can almost hear Jesus saying, “No!
No! You hold onto the wheel, I’ll help
you!”
Besides, what’s he supposed to know about driving? I have it on good authority that Jesus
walked everywhere.
Please consider these other items written and/or performed
by Marc Holland:
Live performances at:
Three plays co-written with Mike Davis-
Crenshaw Family Reunion
Beauty and the Deceased
Night of the Livid Dad (one-act)
One play co-written with Kathy Holland-
Warren’s Peace
Are all available at:
Coming Soon: A new one-act co-written with Kathy Holland-
Jobbed
Will be available at:
Novels under the pen name Quentin Tippler-
Hats Off For Homicide
And Coming Soon:
On the QT: The Collected Short Fiction of Quentin Tippler
Are for sale at:
Novels under the pen name Carl Stafford-
Son of Mann
And Coming in 2014:
No comments:
Post a Comment